Next tour: No dates will be set until that guy from MI9 stops following me around Manchester. Oh, okay. It’s on Wednesday 10 August 2016 at 2pm.
Meet: Manchester Visitor Information Centre, directly above the secret state cold war nuclear bunker (believe it).
Beware: Guides who may not be guides. Fellow walkers who may not be fellow walkers. Tour locations that aren’t tour locations.
End: Citing diplomatic immunity in a third world banana republic while watching a DVD of Our Man In Havana on an endless loop.
For More Information: Please send an s.a.e. to Mr. John Smith, Whitehall.
The following guide to the various security services is top secret information for your eyes only. Read it, print it, memorise it, destroy it.
MI1 – Codebreaking
MI2 – Russia and Scandinavia
MI3 – Eastern Europe
MI4 – Aerial reconnaisance
MI5 – Internal security
MI6 – Protecting Britain’s interests overseas
MI8 – Military communication interception
MI9 – Covert operations
MI14 – German specialists
MI15 – German specialists
MI19 – PoW debriefing
MI17 – Extraterrestrial matters.