The Round O’ Beef: gone. The Tripedressers’ Arms: shut. The Quiet Woman: rightly closed down by the PC police. But don’t fear, old Salfordstill has some of the best pubs in drinksland.

The Eagle opposite Thomas Worthington’s Venetian-styled public baths is how a back-street boozer should be, with a smattering of quiet rooms, a Manchesterdart board (no trebles), Lowry prints and unshiftable locals. It’s also the hardest-to-find pub in the North-West.

The King’s Arms on Bloom Street, in the shadow of another formidable tower straight out of Renaissance Venice, has its own theatre night.

The Oxford, smart and snazzy by the old Town Hall, is so esoteric in its beers it’s been dispensing bitters named after Newcastle United greats; let’s hope the Tony Green is on.

If we’re still standing, we’ll finish at The Crescent, downhome and demesne, spit-and-sawdusty, the Red Dragon when Marx and Engels drank there in the 1840s. We’ll get the beers in before the Media City types turn up!